Written by Gene Simmons, as you’ve probably guessed, does not do things by halves. For the past five decades as bassist and co-vocalist for the legendary Kiss, he also lists producer, reality TV star, author and entrepreneur as part of his long list of achievements.
In 2017, this writer sat down with him in a London hotel for a far-reaching conversation on everything from rock ‘n’ roll, his first impressions of television, launching his own brand of cola and what he will never slap a Kiss logo on.
You wrote your first song aged 14. what inspired you?
“I listened to Chuck Berry, Little Richard and Fats Domino and loved them, but I didn’t connect it with me. You’d hear James Brown and be like, ‘I can’t do that’. You’re just awed by the talent. When I saw The Beatles, I said, ‘I can do that’ – not be as good as them, but I understood that you can play your instrument and speak with an accent, which I did because I came from another country. I started to formulate in my mind what they were doing. That’s a C chord and that’s a G chord. I could watch their hands. [Beats rhythm on sofa cushion] I could see what Ringo was doing. With a few simple chords, I wrote and recorded my song My Uncle Is A Raft. Even though I thought you can’t write any new songs because they’ve all been written – there are only 8 notes of music – all of a sudden I created a song that didn’t exist before.”
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How did you feel after recording your first song?
“I was at a friend’s house and his mother would cook Italian food. I didn’t want to go home, because I couldn’t stop playing it back. It would be time to go home and I’d be like, ‘play it again, play it again’. I had the same feeling when I was putting the Vault box set together.”
You moved to New York from Israel as a child. what were your first impressions of America?
“I’d come from Israel and we didn’t have a bathroom; you’d shit in a hole in the ground and use rags. So coming to New York was like landing on another planet. America was the land of plenty. I couldn’t fathom it. The people were big. The buildings were big. Trains ran under the ground. We didn’t have television in Israel and when I first saw the news, I thought there was a guy inside the box. I’d see people flying through the air… Superman! There’d be dinosaurs and huge monsters and cowboys.”
What were you like at school?
“I’d live in the library after school. I would read everything. I read the Encyclopaedia Britannica from beginning to end, which is why I will bore you to fucking death with minutiae.”
I love minutiae. Can you remember the first dollar you earned?
“It was in Israel. I must have been 7 or 8. It was warm and there was a dirt road leading to the nearby city of Haifa, where the bus would stop. It was dusty and people were thirsty and hungry. We’d go up Mount Carmel – yes, the Biblical one – but it’s a big hill. There were cactus all over and we’d pick them. We got a metal pail, and one of the store owners would give us some ice and we’d put the cactus fruit in there. We’d charge people half a pruta – half a penny – for these things and sold it all. It was cold and healthy and all that. I must have had the equivalent of a dollar and a half. Back then, for a nickel you could almost buy a meal. I bought my first ice cream cone with the money.”
How did it taste?
“It tasted so sweet. I can still remember it because I earned the money. The fruit of thy labour and all that stuff. I put the rest of the money on the table and gave it to my mom. She couldn’t believe it. To this day, I remember what she said. She called me ‘my little man’. It was the first time I heard my mother ever call me ‘man’. Inspiring.”
Did that awaken an entrepreneurial spirit?
“Yes. That made me realise nothing will come to you unless you work for it. You weren’t sitting in Newcastle or wherever you’re from and the phone rings. ‘Listen, we think you’re good looking and we would like you to have this job’. It’s not going to happen. How many times did you hear ‘no’ until you got the job?”
A fair bit, so I started a fanzine.
“Did I make up ‘if at first you don’t succeed’? It actually works. I failed all the time. Everybody fails. What doesn’t kill you and all that. The world can exist very easily without you, or any of us. Nothing would change. It’s up to us to bring value to what we do; you work at it.”
Where did you learn your business acumen?
“School doesn’t teach you about capitalism: what’s a car loan, how much things cost, what taxes are or how to survive. So there was a thing called Junior Achievement where captains of industry would get 10-15 kids and form a company, so we’d understand how the big stuff works. We started a cookie company. We needed to raise money, so we printed up shares in the company. We self-evaluated and worked out what the company was worth and how to make profit. We costed the ingredients. We understood the price of goods, salaries, the profit margins and tax. You have a partner and it’s the United States government. I learned more there than I ever did in school. There’s no class in school called ‘Life’. Wouldn’t it be good for the next generation to know what the fuck is going on when the world is handed to them? You and I had to do it the hard way and learn it ourselves.”
And you applied all that know-how to all that Kiss merchandise. The Kiss logo is easily as recognisable as Coca-Cola.
“I’m after them.”
You’re what?
“Really. My own cola is in a thousand stores. [Shows a photo on his phone with images of the lavishly designed bottles] So what I’m doing is the Rolls-Royce of colas. When you look at it, it has the ambience of champagne; the packaging is very important [points to logo] and look, I own the money bag logo.”
When did you acquire that?
“Years ago. You don’t have enough time for me to talk about the magazine [Mogul] or the comic book company and blah blah blah. There’s a lot going on. But I don’t know about you, but if I’m running a race and see the finishing line coming towards me, what do you do? Slow down or speed up? Speed up? Yeah, me too. I’m closer to the end than I was in the beginning. I don’t mean to get dark, but it’s true. So, you can retire and slow down but I’ve never understood that. Do more. Get up everyday. No days off.”
What else could you put a Kiss logo on?
“We have 5000 licensed products. We have Kiss condoms, we have Kiss caskets. Shall I do the joke? We’ll get you cumming and get you going. We literally do. We have Kiss urns. We have the Kiss golf course in Las Vegas, the Kiss Kruise. We’re very fortunate but we won’t stick the logo on anything. Kiss crack? Not today, but almost anything else. Why not?”
Trying to trademark the devil horns didn’t go down well, though.
“People didn’t like it. They kept talking about [Ronnie James] Dio or Chubby Checker and everybody else but they’re not qualified to have an opinion. They’ve never done anything and they’re just in the peanut gallery. I don’t mean to be dismissive, but they’re misinformed or ill-informed or uninformed. They’re all slightly different. These are semantics, but I’m not anti-semantic. I decided to give it up because it doesn’t matter. I simply wanted to take a hold of it.”
I treat every day like it’s the only day I’ll ever have.
Gene Simmons
You’ve had an American football team, books, restaurants and a golf course. What else do you want to achieve?
“Oh, so much more. In our mind, especially in Western culture, we think we’re going to live until we’re 80, 100 years old. Nothing is urgent. Nothing. What if God only gave you 24 more hours of life. What would you do?”
Flap about.
“Would you figure out your will or put a good word in for someone to help them advance? Yes? So you’d do that now, if you had 24 hours. But it can wait.”
What would you do?
“I treat every day like it’s the only day I’ll ever have. I really like people. I like getting up every day and I sleep great. You’ve got to have fun. Because after that, you die. That’s all it is.”
